“Every time you kiss him you’re tasting my pussy”

I saw that on an image on my dashboard

And okay that made me smile because it’s so fucking true and hilarious 

I said it’s not your fault. I lied

I don’t have time to watch you cry

I hate myself for the fact that even though people have treated me so badly I still have the decency to treat them with love and respect

I hate myself for being so nice

I hate myself for hating myself

I hate myself for continuing to put everyone else before myself, and I hate myself for the fact that I even said that

I hate myself for being the nice, loving, caring, quiet, friendly, happy, etc etc girlfriend

I hate myself for ever trying to stand up for what I believe in

I hate myself for opening up and telling people my story

I hate myself for being approachable

I hate myself for caring so much about others and being there for them, yet when I need them they are never there for me, and I hate myself for continuing to be there for them

I hate myself because I can’t hold a grudge

I hate myself because I can’t be bitter, hurtful, mean etc

I hate myself because maybe I should have just become what you all wanted me to become

I hate myself for using the word hate

I never use this word, I find it disgusting

It’s something you can never take back

But for once I truly hate myself

And what I hate the most is that even after all that you’ve done to me, I don’t hate you at all

I never will and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to